my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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