I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
