I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize