That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
