Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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