in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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