well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
