Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
