fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
