Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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