I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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