I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
