I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
