How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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