Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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