first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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