i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
