he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
well you can't waste a boner
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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