I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
