just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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