Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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