and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
