Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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