Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
