MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
