I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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