i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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