Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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