ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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