I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
