I'm going to jail i love you
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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