I could have mohawked her pubes.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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