No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
it wasn't lemon gatorade
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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