She is in my trunk
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
