Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
