i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
