Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
