I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
When are your genitals available?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
