gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
