why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
