I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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