If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
