theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
