At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
