i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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