Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
