kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
