Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
