scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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