I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
