would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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