He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
two words: eviction party
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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