No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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